Shape Up or Ship Out
Wake Up Call



Well.......I had a little health scare a few weeks ago. An almost literal 'come to Jesus' meeting with doctors followed. And the skinny of the experience (isn't that term ironic?) was that if I don't SHAPE UP, I'm going to SHIP OUT.... in a pine box. It almost scared the life out of me.

Almost. BUT NOT SO FAST, life. Because I don't plan to go silently into that good night. I've got plans for the next 30 years or so.

I'll share the experience in bits and pieces, probably. It's likely boring to most people who haven't had the everloving S&@T scared out of them in the same way. The take-away from the experience is this:

  • I need to put my money where my mouth is. I need to eat right, and not just a few meals per week-- it's got to be pretty much EVERY meal. And that's no easy task for a food writer.
  • I've got to get moving. Disappointed with myself after a spectacular personal fitness failure last year, I fell off the wagon. I'd get going for hikes, but my daily practice went by the wayside. And the physically active jobs I had gave way to sedentary work. NO MORE EXCUSES.
  • I've got to be nicer to myself. I, like so many of us, create a lot of anxiety for myself by worrying what everyone BESIDES me thinks of me, my life, my decisions, my hair.... and I'm only joking a little bit there. I give all kinds of weight to those vocal critics. Worse, it's what I tell myself about those thoughts--I wouldn't even associate with a person who speaks to me like my own inner critic does. Life is short. It's time to grow up and drop that dead weight, literally and figuratively.  




Bottom Line: I'm going to make better choices. All around. 

I've got to tell you, even this vague reference to my private life makes me nervous. I'm not sure if it is appropriate. It's difficult to share my perceived faults and failures. What if I look like an idiot? What if I look like a fraud? What if I look.... HUMAN?  It's just so very personal.

And probably the same types of personal fears that many people struggle with daily. Not just me. Maybe you. Or maybe someone you know. It's scary to be so open. It's either brave, or foolish, or both. Like me.

It's bound to be hysterical from time to time. So, I'm going to learn to laugh at my mistakes, my foibles, my weaknesses, my HUMANITY...... and MOVE ON.

I'm. Moving. On.
"You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space." Johnny Cash

So for a brief recap, a few years ago (it's been that long?!) I embarked on a fitness project to lose 50 pounds. In a year. By my 50th birthday. I called it Spring into Fitness: 50 by 50. I succeeded. And I kept that entire 50 off for, oh, say 3 days. Maybe a few weeks. Not long.

At first, my weight fluctuated only a pound or two. And then a lot of anxiety, and a lot of upheaval, and a lot of self indulgence helped 10 pounds creep back on. In retrospect, not a dismal failure, especially for one whose world revolves around delicious food, but if that 10 pounds a year becomes the norm, well, you can see it just can't.

So what does this mean for Notes from Maggie's Farm? Well, there really won't be much of a change. I've concentrated on wholesome, fresh, seasonal foods, primarily, and that will continue. I might share some of my path back to more robust health, occasionally, if that's interesting to you. I'll still offer a few culinary indulgences from time to time. I'll be focused on balance. Creating, and maintaining balance in the many avenues of life that combine at the crossroads of wellness.

Occasionally that might mean I'll be away for a while. Living life. Then returning to share it all when the time is available. Who knows? Like life, we'll just see how the path unfolds, taking it one precious day at a time.




14 comments:

  1. Maggie - Thank you for your vulnerability and your honesty. It's one thing to feel the shortcomings yourself but to share it with the world, that takes guts! But the up side is supportive people who understand and have got your back! I love your positive outlook in this post and it's inspiration for me to get back to exercising and eating better food. I know it'll definitely make me feel better! Wish you the best. You got this!

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    1. Dearest Anita,

      Your comment brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for taking the time to encourage me. It means so very much.

      My best,
      Maggie

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  2. I'm sorry to hear about your scare! It can be terrifying to look at your health from that perspective. You are a tough cookie though, and I know that you're going to kick ass all the way to your goals. By the way, you are definitely not a failure! Losing what you did is still a great achievement in my book. Even if you still have further to go you deserve to be proud of that. Love to you, sister!

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    1. BLESS YOU, Mary Helen!
      Thank you so much for encouraging me to give myself a little pat on the back about keeping most of that weight loss. You're right, No small task, there. And proof I can go further in regaining optimal health. I'm truly moved by your support.

      My best,
      Maggie

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  3. I hope you will continue to use your blog to inspire us all!!!

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    1. Melissa!
      So great to see you! Thank you for your kind words. I'm so flattered that you say I inspire, but really it is such lovely support and encouragement that inspires ME, and encourages me to continue to be real... flaws and all. I appreciate you!

      My best,
      Maggie

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  4. Kudos to you, Maggie, for being so open and honest. It is a daily struggle trying to figure out how much to share personally as a blogger, and to maintain a healthy lifestyle while cooking and eating out in this city with a million and one tempting options for not-so-healthy food. I am turning 50 this year and have my own health issues and need to remind myself daily to realign, reign it in, and keep on trying. Sounds like you have the right attitude.

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    1. Hi Cathy!
      I know my fellow food bloggers can probably relate to the struggle-- It all seems so glamorous and delicious when you're chowing down on the third plate of the best barbecue in the world of that week, or quaffing free cocktails, or partying over shared plates....but the reality of it is it's really difficult to maintain a healthy balance, and the more 'mature' one is, the more the lifestyle takes its toll, if not kept in check. I left my home just after publishing this, and headed out for three days of decadent Hill Country wineing and dining, for which I'll have pay penance this week. It's a process of stops and starts, but I'm hoping with a little bit of public accountability in the mix, I can have fewer stops, and need fewer starts....just a slow, but steady improvement. Thank you so much for your encouragement!

      My best,
      Maggie

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  5. Maggie:, take care as there is only one you! I fell ill on 12/29 and stayed in the hospital for 7 days (what a new year!). I had been making life changes but not enough. I am working on me and feel pretty good. I wish the best for you!

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    1. Hi Winnie,
      I'm so sorry to hear you were ill! But what a great example you are in making those gradual changes. Being kinder to myself has already seen an improved attitude, that also seems to encourage healthier habits. Thank you so much for sharing your own journey, and supporting me on mine.

      My best,
      Maggie

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  6. Thank you for talking about it, Maggie. No one I know is getting any younger, and gentle (even occasionally panicked) reminders to do a little better, and try a little harder, from someone as thoughtful as you are oh-so-welcome.

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    1. Julie,
      Thank you for stopping by and offering your encouragement! If by sharing a little bit of my journey I can encourage others with similar struggles to take good care of themselves, the little bit of embarrassment that being so out there with my missteps is worth it. It is SO NICE to have such a wonderful community of selfless people to help me along!

      My best,
      Maggie

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  7. Maggie. You are Bad Ass.

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    1. Toni,

      I work to embrace my Bad Assedness more, every day, thank to AWESOME reminders and nudges like these! THANK YOU!

      Much love,
      Maggie

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