Shape Up or Ship Out Wake Up Call

Well.......I had a little health scare a few weeks ago. An almost literal 'come to Jesus' meeting with doctors followed. And the skinny of the experience (isn't that term ironic?) was that if I don't SHAPE UP, I'm going to SHIP OUT.... in a pine box. It almost scared the life out of me.

Almost. BUT NOT SO FAST, life. Because I don't plan to go silently into that good night. I've got plans for the next 30 years or so.

I'll share the experience in bits and pieces, probably. It's likely boring to most people who haven't had the everloving S&@T scared out of them in the same way. The take-away from the experience is this:

• I need to put my money where my mouth is. I need to eat right, and not just a few meals per week-- it's got to be pretty much EVERY meal. And that's no easy task for a food writer.
• I've got to get moving. Disappointed with myself after a spectacular personal fitness failure last year, I fell off the wagon. I'd get going for hikes, but my daily practice went by the wayside. And the physically active jobs I had gave way to sedentary work. NO MORE EXCUSES.
• I've got to be nicer to myself. I, like so many of us, create a lot of anxiety for myself by worrying what everyone BESIDES me thinks of me, my life, my decisions, my hair.... and I'm only joking a little bit there. I give all kinds of weight to those vocal critics. Worse, it's what I tell myself about those thoughts--I wouldn't even associate with a person who speaks to me like my own inner critic does. Life is short. It's time to grow up and drop that dead weight, literally and figuratively.  

Bottom Line: I'm going to make better choices. All around. 

I've got to tell you, even this vague reference to my private life makes me nervous. I'm not sure if it is appropriate. It's difficult to share my perceived faults and failures. What if I look like an idiot? What if I look like a fraud? What if I look.... HUMAN?  It's just so very personal.

And probably the same types of personal fears that many people struggle with daily. Not just me. Maybe you. Or maybe someone you know. It's scary to be so open. It's either brave, or foolish, or both. Like me.

It's bound to be hysterical from time to time. So, I'm going to learn to laugh at my mistakes, my foibles, my weaknesses, my HUMANITY...... and MOVE ON.

I'm. Moving. On.

"You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space." Johnny Cash

So for a brief recap, a few years ago (it's been that long?!) I embarked on a fitness project to lose 50 pounds. In a year. By my 50th birthday. I called it Spring into Fitness: 50 by 50. I succeeded. And I kept that entire 50 off for, oh, say 3 days. Maybe a few weeks. Not long.

At first, my weight fluctuated only a pound or two. And then a lot of anxiety, and a lot of upheaval, and a lot of self indulgence helped 10 pounds creep back on. In retrospect, not a dismal failure, especially for one whose world revolves around delicious food, but if that 10 pounds a year becomes the norm, well, you can see it just can't.

So what does this mean for Notes from Maggie's Farm? Well, there really won't be much of a change. I've concentrated on wholesome, fresh, seasonal foods, primarily, and that will continue. I might share some of my path back to more robust health, occasionally, if that's interesting to you. I'll still offer a few culinary indulgences from time to time. I'll be focused on balance. Creating, and maintaining balance in the many avenues of life that combine at the crossroads of wellness.

Occasionally that might mean I'll be away for a while. Living life. Then returning to share it all when the time is available. Who knows? Like life, we'll just see how the path unfolds, taking it one precious day at a time.